Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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