the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
