Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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