Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Heβs disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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