Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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