just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
even my farts smell like vagina
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
