you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize