he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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