he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
