im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
