Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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