He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
do nipples grow back?
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