So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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