How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
