So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
