we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
