my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
