I need help removing her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
