I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
