They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
