ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
