how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
