Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
