Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
