How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
