So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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