im gay
i know
yea but for you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
