Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
