Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
