A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
