Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
