i barfeds in our rink
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
