last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize