The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
