Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
