using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
