the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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