My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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