What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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