it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
