i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
