that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
