just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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