We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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