weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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