I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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