Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
