I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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