Can Purell be used as lube?
two words: eviction party
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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