If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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