playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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