He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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