A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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