I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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