I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
