She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize