My friends, they love my intelligence
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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