Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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