I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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