The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
