Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
